hellspawn .
Dream Catcher
5%
Hellspawn is apocalyptic and insane
Posts: 1,336
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Jokes
May 6, 2007 11:42:25 GMT 7
Post by hellspawn . on May 6, 2007 11:42:25 GMT 7
lol...woah....
trust an irish doctor to find a cure for no known disease...
translation on an irish menu: 'coq au vin.....chicken on a lorry'...
what about the irish scientist who dreamed up the idea of breeding sardine the exact size to fit the tin?
a Dublin man has invented a revolutionary new fire alarm. it's made of unbreakable glass...
XD
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May 7, 2007 3:43:06 GMT 7
Post by <Max> on May 7, 2007 3:43:06 GMT 7
o.O''
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May 8, 2007 14:24:47 GMT 7
Post by freakazoidheartscolors on May 8, 2007 14:24:47 GMT 7
Don't diss the irish!
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hellspawn .
Dream Catcher
5%
Hellspawn is apocalyptic and insane
Posts: 1,336
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Jokes
May 8, 2007 22:20:06 GMT 7
Post by hellspawn . on May 8, 2007 22:20:06 GMT 7
blukk...=p
graffiti: KEEP THE BOAT PEOPLE OUT - SINK THE IRISH FERRY.
why did the Irish hedgehog cross the road? to find his flatmate...
then there was the irish man who looked up his family tree and found half the family were still living in it...
'Are Vasectomies Hereditary?' - headline in Irish Paper
Magnus: 'what does "unaware" mean?' Patrick: 'the last thing you take of at night.'
How about the Belfast man who got the VC? They cured him.
XDXDXD...x)
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May 10, 2007 14:48:32 GMT 7
Post by <Max> on May 10, 2007 14:48:32 GMT 7
Oh man stop dissing a race. As funny as it is.
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hellspawn .
Dream Catcher
5%
Hellspawn is apocalyptic and insane
Posts: 1,336
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Jokes
May 10, 2007 15:02:27 GMT 7
Post by hellspawn . on May 10, 2007 15:02:27 GMT 7
ahhaha..~~
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Jokes
Jun 24, 2007 20:08:04 GMT 7
Post by Young, Rich & Handsome on Jun 24, 2007 20:08:04 GMT 7
A lawyer drives by a park and sees a man eating grass, so he stops and asks the man
Why are you eating grass?
The man repies : I am very poor i have no money or food
Well come back to my house then! says the lawyer
The two then drives off, but then the lawyer spots another man eating grass and stops to ask the man why is he eating grass. The man gives the same answer, he suffers from poverty. The lawyer invites the man back to his house
The poor man : That is very kind of you but i have a wife and 7 children
The lawyer insists and the 9 of them (somehow) gets in the car and drives of.
The poor man : You are very kind, to invite all of us to your house..
The lawyer : Yes, your going to love my house the grass is a meter tall!!
Moral : Never trust a lawyer
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hellspawn .
Dream Catcher
5%
Hellspawn is apocalyptic and insane
Posts: 1,336
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Jokes
Jun 26, 2007 10:43:51 GMT 7
Post by hellspawn . on Jun 26, 2007 10:43:51 GMT 7
A sixth grede class is doing some spelling drills. the teacher asks Joey if he can spell 'before'. He stands up and says "Before, B-E-P-H-O-R." The teacher says, "No thats wrong. Can anyone else spell 'before'?" Another little boy stands up and says, "Before, B-E-F-O-O-R." Again the teacher says,"No, thats wrong."The teacher asks, "Henry,can you spell 'before'?" Henry stands up and says,"Before, B-E-F-O-R-E." "excellent Henry, now can you use it in a sentence?" Henry says," Thats easy. Two plus two be fore."
One day at a veterinarian's office, a man and the receptionist were verbally sparring. After a few momments, a technician came to her co-worker's defence. "sir," she interjected, "Do you know what happens to aggressive males in this ofice?"
XD
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Jokes
Jun 27, 2007 19:59:17 GMT 7
Post by freakazoidheartscolors on Jun 27, 2007 19:59:17 GMT 7
A man joined a big multi-national company as a trainee. On his first day, he dialled the pantry and shouted into the phone, "Get me a coffee, quickly!"
The voice from the other side responded, "You've dialled the wrong extension! Do you know who you're talking to?"
"No," replied the trainee.
"I'm the Managing Director of the company!"
The trainee shouted back, "And do you know who YOU are talking to?"
"No." replied the Managing Director indignantly.
"Good!" replied the trainee and put down the phone.
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Jun 28, 2007 22:38:49 GMT 7
Post by <Max> on Jun 28, 2007 22:38:49 GMT 7
Lol thats like the principal-student joke xD Keep em comming.
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Jul 2, 2007 22:29:33 GMT 7
Post by freakazoidheartscolors on Jul 2, 2007 22:29:33 GMT 7
the what?ada ek?
WORST ANALOGIES ON HIGH SCHOOL ESSAYS
his thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without static guard.
her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.
he spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
the little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldnt.
from the attic came an unearthly howl. the whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and jeopardy comes on at 7pm instead of 7:30. she caught your eye like one of those pointy hook latches that used to dangle from screen doors and would fly up whenever you banged the door open again.
her eys were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.
bob was as perplexed as a hacker who means to access T:\flw.quid55328.com\aaakk/ch@ung but gets T:\flw.quidaaakk/ch@ung by mistake.
her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
he was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.
her date was pleasant enough, but she knew that if her life was a movie this guy would be buried in the credits as something like "Second Tallest Man".
Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 pm traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 pm at a speed of 35 mph.
they lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.
John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
the thunder was ominous-sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play.
the red brick wall was the colour of a brik-red Crayola crayon.
lol.
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Jul 2, 2007 23:51:04 GMT 7
Post by <Max> on Jul 2, 2007 23:51:04 GMT 7
the little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldnt.
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Jokes
Jul 3, 2007 20:44:35 GMT 7
Post by freakazoidheartscolors on Jul 3, 2007 20:44:35 GMT 7
The day before a big chemistry test,two frat boys decided to go partying....and eventually woke up late and missed the test. They pleaded with their professor, saying that the car tyre blew and they got to the campus late so the professor reluctantly let them take the test the next day. Of course the boys were very happy and crammed hard that night for the test.
So,on the day of the test,the professor tells them to take the test,but in different rooms. The boys,thinking nothing, quickly complied to his request. The first question in the paper was, "for 5 points,what does an atom contain?" As they had both studied the night before,they both answered this question with ease. Then,the next question was, "For 95 points,tell me which tyre it was."
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hellspawn .
Dream Catcher
5%
Hellspawn is apocalyptic and insane
Posts: 1,336
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Jokes
Jul 3, 2007 21:41:01 GMT 7
Post by hellspawn . on Jul 3, 2007 21:41:01 GMT 7
what?? "
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Jokes
Jul 20, 2007 11:18:33 GMT 7
Post by purepanda87 on Jul 20, 2007 11:18:33 GMT 7
each of them answered differently since they lied about the car ;p
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Jul 20, 2007 20:41:39 GMT 7
Post by uesef on Jul 20, 2007 20:41:39 GMT 7
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Jul 28, 2007 14:18:43 GMT 7
Post by <Max> on Jul 28, 2007 14:18:43 GMT 7
Is that a joke.? Lol.
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Jokes
Aug 7, 2007 16:17:58 GMT 7
Post by freakazoidheartscolors on Aug 7, 2007 16:17:58 GMT 7
lol who the heck is that? anyway,i got a joke!
A woman walked up to a wrinkly extremely old to the point of being ancient man sitting on his rocking chair. Amazed at how old he looked, she asked him for his secret on long life. "I smoke 3 boxes of ciggarettes everyday, drink myself silly, eat fatty foods and never exercise", said the old man. "Amazing!", exclaimed the woman. "How old are you?" "Twenty six."
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Aug 8, 2007 22:23:33 GMT 7
Post by <Max> on Aug 8, 2007 22:23:33 GMT 7
Repeat xD But good stuph #karma karma
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hellspawn .
Dream Catcher
5%
Hellspawn is apocalyptic and insane
Posts: 1,336
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Jokes
Aug 12, 2007 13:17:59 GMT 7
Post by hellspawn . on Aug 12, 2007 13:17:59 GMT 7
repeat?
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<Bax>
Dream Catcher
Ice
40%
Kamal you fool! Our tents been stolen!
Posts: 1,717
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Jokes
Aug 12, 2007 14:26:28 GMT 7
Post by <Bax> on Aug 12, 2007 14:26:28 GMT 7
noob
somebody already posted it before
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Jokes
Aug 12, 2007 14:51:43 GMT 7
Post by <Max> on Aug 12, 2007 14:51:43 GMT 7
Omg your post itself was a joke Ice. xD
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hellspawn .
Dream Catcher
5%
Hellspawn is apocalyptic and insane
Posts: 1,336
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Jokes
Aug 15, 2007 14:16:54 GMT 7
Post by hellspawn . on Aug 15, 2007 14:16:54 GMT 7
"" ........ what do henry the 8th and hermit the frog have in common....?
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Jokes
Aug 15, 2007 23:00:37 GMT 7
Post by <Max> on Aug 15, 2007 23:00:37 GMT 7
Their names start with a H ? And they both have the's. Losers.
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hellspawn .
Dream Catcher
5%
Hellspawn is apocalyptic and insane
Posts: 1,336
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Jokes
Dec 18, 2007 20:30:47 GMT 7
Post by hellspawn . on Dec 18, 2007 20:30:47 GMT 7
A rabbi and a priest are involved in a bad car crash. Their vehicles are totally demollished but both clergymen are unhurt. After they crawl from their wrecked cars, the rabbi sees the priest's collar. "So," says the rabbi, "you're a priest. I am a rabbi. Just look at our cars. Both are completely demolished and you and I stand here unscathed. God must have intended for us to meet and become great friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days." "I agree with you tatally," says the prieest. "This must be a sign from God. You will be my closest friend for as long as we both may live." "Look at this," the rabbi continues. "Here is another miracle already. Look here in the back. A bottle of Mogen David wine, unbroken. Surely God wants us to seal our friendship with a drink." With this, he pops the cork, and hands the bottle to the priest, who takes several swigs and passes it back to the rabbi. But he just hands it back to the priest. "Aren't you having any?" askes the priest. "No," the rabbi replies. "I think I'll just sit here and wait for the police."
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