here's more
a widoy and a gay?? A successful rancher died and left everything to
his devoted wife.
She was a very good-looking woman, and
determined to keep the ranch,
but knew very little about ranching, so she decided
to place an ad in
the newspaper for a ranch hand.
Two men applied for the job. One was gay and the
other a drunk.
She thought long and hard about it, and when no
one else applied
she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would
be safer to have
him around the house than the drunk.
He proved to be a hard worker who put in long
hours everyday
and knew a lot about ranching. For weeks, the two
of them worked,
and the ranch was doing very well.
Then one day, the rancher's widow said to the
hired hand,
"You have done a really good job, and the ranch
looks great.
You should go into town and kick up your heels."
The hired hand readily agreed and went into town
one Saturday night.
One o'clock came, however, and he didn't return.
Two o'clock, and no hired hand. He returned
around two-thirty,
and upon entering the room, he found the rancher's
widow sitting
by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for
him.
She quietly called him over to her.
"Unbutton my blouse and take it off," she said.
Trembling, he did as she directed.
"Now take off my boots." He did as she asked,
ever so slowly.
"Now take off my stockings." He removed each
gently
and placed them neatly by her boots.
"Now take off my skirt." He slowly unbuttoned it,
constantly watching her eyes in the fire light.
"Now take off my bra." Again, with trembling
hands, he did
as he was told and dropped it to the floor.
"Now," she said, "take off my panties." By the light
of the fire,
he slowly pulled them down and off.
Then, she looked at him and said,
"If you ever wear my clothes into town again,
you're fired !"
[just to clear the situation up... the gay wears her cloth... ]a blind guy and panties... not a dirty joke
A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down.
The waiter, who is also the owner,
walks up to the blind man and hands him a menu.
"I'm sorry, Sir, but I am blind and can't read the
menu. Just bring me a dirty fork from
a previous customer, I'll smell it and order from
there."
A little confused, the owner walks over to the dirty
pile and picks up a greasy fork. He
returns to the blind man's table and hands it to him.
The blind man puts the fork to his nose and takes
in a deep breath. "Ah, yes, that's what
I'll have, meatloaf and mashed potatoes."
"Unbelievable," the owner says to himself as he
walks towards the kitchen. The cook
happens to be the owner's wife and he tells her
what had just happened. The blind man
eats his meal and leaves.
Several days later, the blind man returns and the
owner mistakingly brings him a menu
again. "Sir, remember me? I'm the blind man."
"I'm sorry, I didn't recognize you. I'll go get you a
dirty fork." The owner again retrieves a
dirty fork and brings it to the blind man.
After another deep breath, the blind man
says, "That smells great, I'll take the macaroni and
cheese with broccoli." Once again walking away
in disbelief, the owner thinks the blind man
is screwing around with him and tells his wife that
the next time the blind man comes in he's
going to test him.
The blind man eats and leaves. He returns the
following week, but this time the owner on seeing
him coming, runs to the kitchen. He tells his
wife, "Mary, rub this fork on your panties before I
take it to the blind man." Mary complies and hands
her husband the fork back.
As the blind man walks in and sits down, the
owner is ready and waiting. "Good afternoon sir,
this time I remember you and I already have the
fork ready for you."
The blind man puts the fork to his nose, takes a
deep whiff and says, "Hey, I didn't know that
Mary worked here."
well I had to admid it.. it have somewhat kind of dirty ass
Ahmad died in a fire and his body was
so badly burnt that the morgue needed
someone to identify the body. They called
up his two best friends, Ah Beng and Muthu.
Ah Beng went in first and the mortician
pulled back the sheet. Ah Beng said,"Wah,
he's very barbecued like 'char siu'. Please
roll him over, and I will tell you whether
if he's my friend Ahmad or not."
The mortician rolled the body over and Ah
Beng looked at his ass and immediately
said, "No-lah, that isn't Ahmad."
The mortician was puzzled but didn't say anything.
He then went and got Muthu to inspect the body.
Muthu looked closely and said,"Yes, it is
true he's burnt very badly, but roll him
over and I'll see if he's my friend Ahmad."
Again the mortician rolled the body over and
Mu thu looked down at the ass and said, "Oh
thank goodness, this is not Ahmad!!"
The mortician was extremely puzzled, and
unable to stand it any longer, he asked,
"Okay, you have to tell me now - how can
you and Ah Beng tell whether it is Ahmad
just by looking at the ass?"
Muthu replied, "It's simple really. Well
you see, Ahmad had two assholes!"
"What?!!" the mortician said with disbelief,
"He had two assholes?!!"
"Oh yes! Everyone in Penang Road knows
this because everytime the three of us
go out, people always say, "Here comes
Ahmad with the two assholes."
[no comment... ]n_n